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the beginning

Dear the blog community,

It’s been a long time coming for me to build up the confidence to write about my coming out journey as a trans woman and what I’ve done so far to live my authentic life. August of 2017 my amazing friend came in for a visit, and we started having a heart-to-heart conversation about life. When we were laying by each other I explained that I never felt right in the body I was born in, and that I know that I’m a trans woman. She totally understood what I was going through and encouraged me to go to my therapist appointment that afternoon and discuss the issues that had been destroying me for over a decade and a half.

When I got back from therapy I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but still didn’t know what to do. After this meeting things kind of stagnated, and I filled my life up with getting my guide dog Ivan, college stuff, and generally ignored that I needed to go get medical help for my transition.

When I started school in January I felt like crap, and didn’t feel I was ready, but knew I had to do college just to appease my family, friends, and state services for the blind. After the second week of college my mental health and my zest for life was completely gone, and I knew I had to check myself into the hospital for my own safety.

When I checked in I explained my main issues, and I discussed that I absolutely needed to leave the hospital with a plan. This plan would include an appointment with the gender and sexual health clinic so that I could start hormones, connections to trans support groups, and a plan to have my friends by my side while I came out to the world.

The day after I got released from the hospital I gathered my friends around me, and we developed a plan for me to come out. The main fears that I had were that my family would disown me, and that I’d become homeless. In the end none of this happened, and my relationship with my family became more authentic and became a way more loving situation.

love and peace from Amena